I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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