Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
