Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
