i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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