Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
