i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
So here I am, sexting at work.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
And then he peed in my hair
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