Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
