Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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