yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
