I've blown a few things in my day
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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