So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
