It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I need to calm my uterus...
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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