I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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