So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
