Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
