Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
