i think my mom watched the whole time
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
