the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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