And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
