Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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