so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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