I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
