she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize