dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
sex in a hospital.. check
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
