I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Randomize
