A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize
