i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
