garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
