You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
