To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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