I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
