Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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