So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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