Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
