My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
