I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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