Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
