remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
