Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
