I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
