Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
