Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
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