What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
