Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
