your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
