i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
