so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize