please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
