I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
