Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
