Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
