Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
