If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize