if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
