we should wear snuggies to the strip club
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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