No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
