Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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