he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
