guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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