like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
