i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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