I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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