How'd it feel making her break her religion?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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