Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
