You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
