I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
