i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
you inspire me to be a worse person
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize