I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just found puke in my bra..
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Come share oat with me in your robe
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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