FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
