So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
