Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize