i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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