Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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