my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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