an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I stole a fireplace last night.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Use "feeling words"
Yay
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
